Wednesday, 19 July 2017

The Secret of Being Together - Amos Tsur, Tsafy Tsur

                The Secret of Being Together is an in-depth look at a unique form of couples therapy provided by two therapists who are a couple themselves. The book highlights some of the couples they have worked with, telling their stories, how they helped them, and the results of the therapy. The couple also provides some questions for the reader to ask themselves about their own relationships. The book addresses everything from sex addiction to empty nest syndrome to sadomasochism and much more.  Interestingly, there’s also a chapter for those who decide that they don’t want to be in a relationship. Rather they want to “marry” themselves. As strange as it sounds, after reading the chapter it makes sense. The authors write about how, within this marriage to yourself, there is a man part, a woman part, and they must get along with each other for there to be harmony in the “relationship” with yourself. The reader may or may not agree with this but it does make for fascinating reading and result in the reader asking themselves some questions about their own relationships.
                I love studying people and what makes them tick. This is not a normal couple’s therapy manual. It is more so a look inside the relationships of a variety of couples and how they interact with each other and the therapists. The therapists use a lot of the technique of closing your eyes and letting your subconscious take over, supplying you with the answer via imagery. I’m not all together sure how much of this concept I believe in but I can see how it would work for some people. It certainly seems to work for these couples in the book. One of the things I liked that the authors write in the book is that there are three parts to a relationship: you and your partner but also the relationship itself. All have to be nurtured and in harmony for a successful future together.
                At the end of the book is a list of recommended reading and a couple of the books are ones which I have read and can attest to being very good. If you’re looking for a self-help manual for relationship problems then this is probably not the book for you. However, if you’re interested in how humans think and how therapy affects them, then this is fascinating.

                I read this on my ereader and it formatted well. The cover wasn’t particularly eye catching but in this case, it’s the information that is most important.